my mom says drugs are bad

tits-amore:

i feel like pop punk is hardcore’s little brother that wants to be tough but likes cuddles too much

bestnatesmithever:

hahaha son this bread is huge

bestnatesmithever:

hahaha son this bread is huge

tuitionfees:

just changed to a SUPER scary url for October!!

hauntrickstump:

spangefucker:

meatbicyclevevo:

somebody once told me the world was gonna

end on december 21, 2012. i bought all of this fucking pasta as a way to celebrate the end of the world and now i’m $10,000 in debt and i have pasta everywhere in my house

i ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed

deanpraying:

strangeparking:

What anon messages should look like on halloween:

image

make tumblr staff find the thing

teenghostqueen:

nothing is more satisfying than boys with boners u helpless weak fool who can’t even control your own dick i laugh at your embarrassment

reservoirpups:

my friend forced me to his party so i started melting together candy corn into a candy corncob an hour and a half ago

reservoirpups:

my friend forced me to his party so i started melting together candy corn into a candy corncob an hour and a half ago

tocifer:

ryyde:

i was trying to make my friend a bday cake but the dye on the decorative icing started leaking and dripping everywhere so it accidentally became the most ominous and violent looking baked good ive ever seen…… i slapped on some sprinkles to try and make it less threatening looking. it worked a little bit.

BIRTH

writing tip #925:

gr8writingtips:

love making up stories but don’t have the skills to write a novel? fox news is always hiring

thewintersoldiersbutt:

youvebeen-loki-d:

what do you call it when batman skips church?

christian bale

corporateaccount:

iowa is the only state that consists entirely of vowels

w is not a vowel
every message in my inbox for the next 16 years (via corporateaccount)

rustedknees:

the more I think about it, the more I realize that 2009 me would be pretty scared/intimidated by 2014 me and that’s what counts